Well didn’t think this would be my next post but just felt the need to put some of my feeling out there about losing your best friend. You see my best friend was my Golden Lab, Bailey as he had been with me for almost 12 years and knew me so well. When I think back now over the last 12 years, no matter what he was there for me and it’s not easy to let that go sometimes but yesterday I had to deal with that – you see God needed him more than I did.
They always say that God don’t give you more than you can handle but that was sure put to a test yesterday. You know it’s funny how they learn to adjust to your schedule as during the winter I do get on this crazy schedule but he never complained – he’d go out before we went to bed which was sometimes 5, 6 or even 7 AM and then wait for me to get up and start my day. Yesterday I started my day at 11AM and Bailey just laid there and looked at me – it was like he wanted to get up but just couldn’t.
After some coaxing, I finally got him up and you could see that his hips look like they were going to give out any minute – well he made it outside and under the deck and that was it. There he laid and by this point you could see is was a chore just lifting his head to look at me. So I called the vet and of course it’s after hours and if it’s an emergency you have to call a vet that is 45 minute drive from me. So there I am – what do I do.
This is one of the few times living alone was not easy as Bailey was at least 100 lbs and there was no way that I was going to get him lifted in the truck by myself. So I call a friend of mine and Shannon came over and helped me get him from under the deck and out to the truck. Then talk about the 45 longest drive that I have ever made and I look back on it today and don’t know how I even did it – crying all the way as I knew what the verdict was going to be as Bailey was going to be the 4th dog buried in my back yard and had watch the same thing happen with Shammy, Shasta, and Kesha.
By the time I got to the vet’s office – I checked on him and he just looked at me with this relieved look in his eyes – you know animals know when it’s their time and it’s really selfish on our part to make them suffer anymore because we don’t want to lose them. When I think back now – he had to be suffering for quite awhile as he would lay around and whin – and me just thought it was him wanting to go outside but now I realize that is was because he was hurting and in pain.
I know in my heart that Bailey is in doggy heaven and not hurting today and that even tho the house feels sooooooooooooo lonely – I have to think about the 12 years of happiness that he brought me – the times that he got me thru some bad time, made me laugh, licked my tears away, and was just there for me when I needed a hug – Bailey will always have a place in my heart but today – I have to believe that him, Shammy, Shasta and Kesha are playing in doggie heaven today.
I am so sorry for your lost Nancy – Even though it is “only a pet” it is as you say your best friend. Sometimes we are over do and may not look closer or notice those little things that they want to tell us. But one thing is for shore, you did have the time to take him to the vet and stop him from more suffering and pain. That is at least something to feel good about. And our lord is now his gurdian untill we are there to meet him again.
I do hope you will remember all the good times you two had together.
/Anette
Yea that is the good thing – he’s not hurting anymore and as I think about it – he’s been whinning for months now and now I realize it was not that he wanted to go outside – it was he was hurting and yes we did have great times together and lot of memories.
Nancy, even do I never had a dog I still feel your pain, it’s like your losing your right hand… like you said Baily seamed do be suffering for a while he is in Doggy heaven and has earned his own little wings.
Agnes
Ahhhhhhhhh that is a great way to think about it – his own little wings – I believe that he was just that great
Oh Nancy, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved him. I know your pain, I’ve been there so many times myself. Losing Mojo after 15 years, not very long ago, was an incredible emptiness. They are such a part of our lives and when they’re gone it’s truly a very empty feeling.
Thank you so much for posting this. I know Bailey is at the Rainbow Bridge.
Yep you are right Ellen it’s an emptiness that is hard to describe and so many things thru out the house to remind you of him – guess I didn’t realize how old looking he had gotten till I put these pictures together
What a beautiful Post Nancy. It is a sad time but you have to hang on to the memories he put in your heart. He sure was a beautiful animal. Lots of love to you.
Thanks Tammie – yes they do become such a part of your lives but the job and happiness they leave with you is priceless – he was there for me thru some pretty rough times
Hi Nancy,
I come from an animal loving family and I feel your pain. I have been the comforter and the comforted. It is truly losing a part of the family. Animals are blessed with that unconditional love. His suffering is over and is now barking along with the trumpets.
Sincerely.
Robert
Ahhhhhhhh thank Robert and I do believe that he’s running around with my other dogs and not hurting anymore – and you are so right – he loved me not matter what – we should to learn to love like that – unconditional 🙂
Oh Nancy , this was such a heart touching post. I felt I was there with you reliving that moment. You have a lot of wonderful memories of your beautiful pet ,and will always be with you. love you lots.
Thanks Susie – yes he gave me lots of happiness over the years – so many memories and so many hugs when I needed them – he always knew when I needed them
My prayers are with you. Our last friend is in our back yard. I understand the friendship and unconditional love that Dogs give. I’ve had 5 during the stages of my life. The last one was the toughest. I know she would be my last. I still miss her and she has been gone for 5+ years.
Skamp is in “doggie heaven” and with her wings.
Yea I hear you – I have all 4 in the back yard and one cat and they all have a place in my heart and memories but doint’ think I can go another one – it just hurts too bad.
Nancy, you have certainly honored Bailey with this post. I am still wiping the tears from my eyes.
I know it must hurt like it will never stop, but you have a big heart and much left to do. Kahlil Gibran said “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
You may feel like you could never go through it again now, but I am certain that you are not done loving yet, and when God brings another furry friend that needs you, Bailey, Shammy, Shasta and Kesha would want you to open your heart to love again.
Ahhhhhhhhh thank Lynn – I have been hear that from lot of people
Hi Nancy, Bailey was a beautiful dog, and I can understand your pain. Hang in there, Nancy. I can also visualize Bailey with angel wings, and this is an awesome tribute for him. He is always with you and always will be. Big and beautiful hearts feel more and therefore hurt more and longer. You have an extraordinarily big heart, and it will mend for you to be there for another fuzzy friend in need – some day. Take care my friend!
Thanks Carol and he was such a nice dog – never lost that puppy face to me – even tho I can see how he did aged – guess when you are with them daily you just don’t see it
hello there i feel so much for you and know your pain..we lost our 2 english springers due to cancer and the sorrow we felt was immense..just focus in the wonderful memories you have and know you did the right thing in allowing this wonderful pet to go on and be pain free at the rainbow bridge……..patti lacroix stratford ontario canada
Ahhhhhhh thanks Patti and you are so right – they become such a part of our lives and after I have looked back – he had been suffering for awhile now – so I do know this was the right decision.
Hi Patti, It’s your brother Sam! I didn’t realize you had 2 English Springer Spaniels. My daughter has a 2 and half year old English Springer named Henry. If you’re interested in communicating please send me an email. Take care, Sam
Hi nancy, Bailey was a beautiful dog, and I can also understand your pain. I have lost many dogs in my life time. I lost
milo to respiratory infection Oct 18 2008 and did’nt have the heart to bury him. So had him cremated. As the years go by the hurt get easier but we never forget our furry friends.
Oh I know what you mean and yes they all have a special place in your heart forever
Deeply sorry for your loss its never easy saying bye to someone you spent so much time with. I will be having to put down my cat soon yeah its just a cat not the same but when they have been around for some many years its never easy. Take care of yourself 🙂
Well whatever your pet is – they do become of your daily life and it’s really hard – I lost my Kit about 5 years ago and I go outside to the barn and can still hear him meow sometimes – crazy huh?
Nancy as i read the artical on Bailey as a friend of yours i got to know him very much that it made me cry as he was my pal too ill miss him so sorry for your loss huggs your friend bob
Thanks Bob – yea it’s pretty lonely here without him
So sorry for your loss Nancy. I know how hard that is. Been there. I was actually looking at some pictures of my boys today when they were babies and our dog was all over those pictures. I always shed some tears when I see those pics. But the years of love and companionship from pets are great and we wouldn’t change anything. You can bet Bailey is still watching you right now. Hugs from me and the family Nancy. (((HUGS)))
Thanks and yea they sure bring you lot of great memories and are so loving
Dear Nancy….
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I haven’t even read the other one, and I can feel the pain for you. Also it seems, the tears come easy for me when my friends hurt. Thank God that he is in no more pain.
Thanks Sweetie and I agree – it still is hard and I still hear him
sorry to learn of the loss of Bailey. Very nicely written and touching to all that read it. I too have lost pets over the years. HUGS. Angela and Darwin
Thanks – it’s been hard – it makes 4 in the woods now and just don’t know if I can go thru it again